a good different.

Here we go again....

2011-05-04T13:06:00.000-04:00

It's crazy with all the traveling that we do now, there's just something about returning to Springfield, Missouri that feels like home. This is the town where some of the most formative years of my life to this point have been lived out. Many memories abound in this town and I've returned this week for something I'm not sure I ever would have imagined.

I'm here celebrating the college graduation...of my former youth ministry students.

Crazy.

Yup that makes me feel old. Hahaha...but seriously...stop laughing. It does.

It's hard to believe it's been 5 years since I moved out of my dorm and left the comfort of the Ozarks behind to return home to Indiana. It's been quite the journey and one I never saw coming.

_____________

I love returning 'home' to Springfield. This town has come a long way since the first time I visited it over 10 years ago. (CRAP! TEN YEARS AGO!)

I'm getting a bit nostalgic.

Ok. Focus. I'm back.

It's come a long way. Since I've lived here, some major things have happened.

The major university has changed names. It's no longer Southwest Missouri State University, but now simply shortened to Missouri State University. Ok, so thats not major, but it is. New kids here are like SMS? What are you talking about!!??!?!?!

Springfield has EXPLODED.

When I came here, there was stuff to do, places to go, especially compared to where I grew up. But dang...this town has really grown up since I got here. It's expanded heavily in what seems like every direction. The northside (near CBC where I attended) has undergone a major renovation. The southside has really come into the 21st century and Battlefield Mall looks completely different from the days when I was a lowly employee at a Successories store right by JC Penny! (See...motivational artwork)

The most prominant change though for me has been the revitalization effort they've put into downtown Springfield. I'm sitting right now in what used to be a Furniture store downtown. My friend Jack worked here in this building when we were in college. LONG gone are the days of furniture coming and going through this place. Now, in its place, an amazing downtown grocer/bistro/Starbucks coffeehouse all in one location. Many of the old abandoned buildings downtown have been filled with restaurants, shoppes, and boutiques. Lofts have popped up literally everywhere with an upstairs downtown. I can see out the huge paned windows across the road into a loft that is currently being renovated right now. Seriously. I'm looking at the ladder in the window as I type this.

Not only have they done all of this, but parking used to be a MAJOR issue downtown. No longer with the addition of not one, but TWO major parking garages as well as a NICE new movie theater right off the square. Not to mention the addition (my favorite) to all of Springfield which came my Junior year at CBC...the AA Farm team for the St Louis Cardinals...of course, the Springfield Cardinals. It's been billed as the most beautiful stadium for ANY minor league team in the nation. I could totally see it. I've been to a couple others and this place definitely puts some of them to shame.

Anyways, sorry for the blatant nostalgia. I guess I'm just getting older. I guess I'm just wierd. I guess I'm in Missouri!

Well, have fun, and if you ever get the chance to head to Springfield, MO anytime soon. You may understand what I'm talking about. (Or not!)

See ya!

Oh the places you'll go!

2011-04-08T14:50:00.000-04:00

I got bored today and decided I'd put a map together of places I'd been and lived.

The blue states are the places I have been to before with the red checks representing areas I visited while I was there. The orange X's are the places where I've actually lived (including my stint as an intern in Texas!) Of course the purple state you'll see is where I currently call home and the blue arrows are all of the places I've been within the last 12 months. I'd do a highlighted version of Indiana and all the places I've been here in the last year but I don't think i have that much time. It'd be 2012 before I could even get that many arrows on the map.

It's crazy to think of the places I've been and the opportunities I've been blessed with! Yes, you even see Hawaii highlighted on the map! I've been there! (AND WANNA GO BACK!)

I'll mark off at least one more state this year with us going to Arizona for General Council in August. It should be fun! Only lets see...maybe only 12 states left after that! Yes!

Where have you been? Where do you want to go? Whats stopping you!?!?!?!

I'm out! Here's the map!

Coffee Talk...

2011-04-07T23:16:00.001-04:00

In my humble opinion, not much beats a great cup of coffee. At least not unless it's a great cup of coffee shared over a great conversation. The last year has found me in many different meetings with a plethora of coffee and coffee shops to choose from. I know that many of my friends out there aren't big coffee fans, but thats just fine. Maybe you're a hot chocolate drinker. Maybe you prefer tea. Maybe you're like my wife and prefer an ice cold coke.

For me, coffee is the bee's knees. But it only is improved (as with most beverages of choice) with some great conversation. I'm sitting here listening to my Colbie Caillat (don't tell anyone!) Pandora radio station...it's one of the closest I can find to the type of music I prefer to hear when relaxing/conversating in my coffee shop of choice. Speaking of, take a look to the right side of the screen. I'm sure you noticed a starbucks logo. Yup, I'm that serious. I added a link to Starbucks to my blog. They don't pay me for it. The probably don't even know it exists. But afterall, I AM a Gold Card holder and have been a member since 2007 (according to my personalized Starbucks Gold Card...YES it DOES have my name embossed on it!) What can I say, I enjoy a cup o' joe!

But hear ye hear ye! NOT JUST ANY CUP OF JOE! As we have been itinerating this last year our budget has not always necessarily proved to the point where I would have liked for it to be so therefore my coffee drinking has taken a bit of a turn at times. I'm sorry coffee, it's been a bumpy ride!

I used to delight myself in a pound of my favorite coffee from Starbucks without thinking twice. I'd brew that bad boy all up in a couple weeks time and jump back to the store to snag some more of that 100% Arabica deliciousness and quickly realized...DANG...this can be an expensive habit.

So I, along with my precious wife have tried to scale back on the expensive brews for being (gasp!) adventurous and trying out some coffees that are out there and readily available in your favorite local grocer aisles.

Here are some memorable coffees (and some forgettable coffees) I've tried in recent history.

Most recent: Folgers Black Silk
       - I have a confession, it's not neccessarily been the BEST part about waking up, but it still finds its way into my cup. I have made a point for all coffees I endeavor to try that I will to the best of my ability use the entire package no matter my taste. I will say this as a fan of bolder brews of coffee, although it is as smooth as it bills itself, I for one will be excited to move on from my Folgers Black Silk experiment.

Some other recent attempts:
      - BRYGGKAFFE MÖRKROST (IKEA Dark Roast)
      - BRYGGKAFFE MELLANROST (IKEA Med. Roast)
                    - Simply stated, if you're low on cash and live within a considerable distance from an IKEA, I highly recommend BOTH of these coffees! This was the first time I tried the Mellanrost (med roast) which I believe is what they serve in their cafe at IKEA and I love love love it. I don't know, but IKEA has made me a bit of a fan of some of their European coffees and the vaccum packaging is kinda nice too! :)

      - Beaumont Coffee (Aldi brand)
                - From what my tastebuds will allow me to recall, I was not necessarily swung either way. If my taste were on trial, it may have been a hung jury because I simply couldn't make up my mind on whether or not it were good enough to drink black (which is how I've recently started drinking coffee with a tad of splenda) or whether or not the cream and splenda I used with this particular coffee mixed with the fact it was only like $2.99 blinded me to it's real potential. In all honesty, I will most likely revist this coffee again once the Black Silk takes its long road home.

      - Pumpkin Spice Coffee (Found at TJ Maxx - Made by Unique Coffee Roasters)

                - Ok, I'm no coffee snob, but I know a great cup from a good cup from a crappy cup. I love pumpkin spice stuff, I love my wife who went out on a limb and got this for me. But please do your stomach and your taste buds a favor. Stay the heck away from this stuff. Nuff Said.

     - Dunkin Donuts Original Blend (Regular and Decaf)
               - No, I didn't spend my money on Dunkin Donuts coffee. I'M A STARBUCKS GOLD CARD HOLDER DANGIT! :) How I got into contact with these Dunkin Coffees would be through those two women in my life who I like to call Mother and Mother in Law. What is it with 50-something women and Dunkin Donuts coffee! Seriously, they both drink this stuff! I will say this, when I lived with my mom for a few months thank God she had some international delight french vanila creamer, for Tiff's mom. Ugh. All she drinks is decaf. And it's majorly watered down. Sad day. Dunkin Original I will say is nice and smooth and although its not starbucks (can you catch a theme here?) it suffices. But not that decaf junk. I like the flavor but I like to keep my eyes open too. Necessito Caffiene por favor. Pronto.

      - Archer Farms Kona Blend Coffee (Target)
               - Decent coffee at best. When they say Kona blend I'm pretty sure they put the bare minimum to qualify that statement. I've had Kona coffee from Hawaii. This was NOT that coffee.

      - Sams Choice Sumatra (The Walmart)
                - This was one of many regrettable choices.

      - Eight O' Clock Coffee
                - I bought this the same day I saw a guy grab 2 bags at once. Upon brewing and drinking it was no wonder he bought 2 bags. It became evident to me that over the years of drinking Eight O' Clock coffee this guy had burnt his taste buds off or simply they ran away because he drank this mess. For futher reference, see Sams Choice Sumatra or Pumpkin Spice Coffee found at TJ Maxx.

    - Cafe Bustelo
                 - Those crazy Cubans! I paid the price for this that many Cubanos probably make in a month (a lil over $2) and I tried this one on and off a few times since my honeymoon. That was when I was exploring my wild latino side. I have settled on the fact I will most likely not be returning to my Cuban roots. O'jala Que!

Well, all of that to say I like coffee. See how it spawned conversation. You should try it sometime! But take it from me, I prefer Starbucks, but if that's too rich for our blood, just do all of us a favor avoid the 8 o'clock and pumpkin spice variety at all costs!

Mucho Gusto!

(It's late and I don't even remember what that means! I just wanted to say it!)

Adios!

Josh

I must confess...

2011-03-10T22:18:00.000-05:00

There, I said it. I love me some technology. At the sake of making myself sound old, I still remember when cell phones came out. I remember the day we got the internet installed at our house. Thats right. AOL baby. Dial up. What what!?!?!

It's nuts to me how far we've progressed and how quickly. Like Kip from Napolean Dynamite, I too was enthralled at one time by the entire concept of instant messaging. Especially with people who were on the other side of the country, let alone the world!

I just think how hard my own kids will laugh at me some day when I talk about 'house phones' that HAD to be plugged into a phone jack on the wall or they wouldn't work because there was no such thing as a cordless phone. They'll probably say...what the heck is a 'home phone' dad.

I'll probably simply chuckle and say, oh you know its one of those things dinosaurs used to communicate with each other before they went extinct. That and their desktop computers with those big towers and huge monitors. It honestly makes me sad my kids won't really know what a floppy disk is! I'm not talking about an A drive with those 3.5 inch hard disks (although they won't have a clue about those either) friends! I'm talking about the 5.5 inch FLOPPY B drive! Craziness! I mean c'mon if it weren't for those Floppies I never would've had the chance to go Number Munching, Fishing in Odell Lake nor would I have ever made that poor poor decision to try and ford the Platte River during those spring months in Oregon Trail. (RIP Jack, Sandy, 4 sets of clothes, 5 boxes of ammo, 1 wagon axle, and 229 lbs of food)

All of that said, I'm thankful that I'm getting to see all of this unfold in my lifetime. I'm thankful to see where we've been and where we're going. I love technology if used for the right purposes. I'm intrigued by the new trends in computing, social networking, cell phone technology, home improvements, kitchen gadgets, auto technology. I'm just a big nerd. I like to read up about whats heading up next, try to stay ahead of the curve. I have a bit of an inquisitive nature anyway, so I have no problem admitting I'm a bit of nerd.

I am sitting here watching a live basketball game from my alma mater, Central Bible College who is not known for being up on the newest tech, but thanks to the throws of modern technology and a lil work, a small Bible college in the Ozarks is able to broadcast games live over the internet. Sweet!

Thats just the tip of the iceberg. I have a droid. Don't even get me started with how crazy cell phone technology has come. The whole new tablet craze (ie Ipad) and progress on cellphones has me convinced that laptops will soon be a thing of the past and that tablets (mark my words) are just a larger size of what will eventually become the all in one device on your cell phone. I know that many people speculate the iPhone and some new droid models are basically mini computers but think about where we were 10 years ago. Think about 10 years from now. I won't even be 40 yet, and things will be even CRAZIER (ie riots in the middle east)

Should be awesome. I love technology, and it should be interesting to see where it goes and where it takes us.

Back to the game. It's getting interesting. :)

Much Love!
Josh

A Good Different.

2011-03-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

I work with people. Especially teenagers. But people. I have come to notice that everyone (myself included) wants to be noticed. We all want to stand out right?

You may be thinking, not I! Not those kids who always stand in the corner away from everyone. WHAT? Yes they do! Thats why they stand in the corner.

When I was a Youth Pastor I had a friend. He was a student. In some ways he felt like a son, or maybe a little brother. He was a little socially awkward. But he was/is a great kid. If you watched his behavior you may notice he doesn't always act like everyone. He has some behavioral tendencies that border on autistic. But I love this guy. He's great. He knows it.

He, because of his behavior, sometimes created awkward situations where people, especially other students didn't want or know how to be around him. He craved attention, because of a variety of reasons which don't need to be aired publicly, he just wanted someone to notice him. He wanted to stand out. To be different.

So he ran. He withdrew. He wanted to be chased. To be sought after. The first few times I did. I would get frustrated, send youth leaders after him maybe even (gasp) chew him out a lil for his behavior. Then I started to realize...this is what he wanted. He desired to be chased. To be pursued. Even to be fussed at. Because any attention to him was still attention. So I came to the moment where I decided to make a personal investment in him. Instead of chasing him when he ran from me. I ran to him first, before he had the chance to make the first move.

I started inviting him over to play video games, take him out to eat, even tried to help him fill out a job application (he REALLY didn't like the idea of working at Mickey D's). I took a proactive approach. He didn't have a father figure, so I made it my goal to be one to him. He had lived his life trying to look, act and be different. All just to stick out so ANYONE would notice him. It worked, they noticed, and decided it best to keep their distance. Only furthering his downward spiral.

I wanted to show him, to teach him, that there is such a thing as a bad different and a good different.

A bad different would be the kind of different he had been. A type of different where he stood out for all the wrong reasons. A way by which living would bring about notariety of a negative type. People would know who you were, but would not be intrigued by you or who you are simply because they see nothing worth replicating in their own lives. They see you as entertaining, not invigorating.

A good different then would be the exact opposite. A good different would represent going against the normalcy of everyday life for the sake of making a difference. A way that would get you noticed and bring attention to your cause or to your life, not for fame but rather for bringing about positivity. People would know who you were, what you stood for and why you believe what you believe. They would see the way you lived your life outside the normal bounds of every other person and caused others to want to do the same. They see you as an individual not an island to yourself.

Genesis 6:8 (The Message) says, "But Noah was different, God liked what He saw in Noah"

The whole chapter begins to walk through how jacked up the world had become. Verse 5 reads that "God saw that human evil was out of control. People thought evil, imagined evil - evil, evil, evil from morning to night." Now, I'm not saying that everyone you know is evil, evil, evil...but the world as we know it isn't gettting progressively nicer. Take a look everywhere from your local statehouse to the middle east. Nuts. In a time where evil is running rampant in Genesis and God was ready to wipe the world clean of all humanity, in steps Noah. The word of God simply states, "But Noah was DIFFERENT, God liked what He saw in Noah."

Man. This is what I'm talking about when I say a good different. Everyone wants to stand out. Noah stood out from all humanity because he was different. God liked what he saw in Noah.

I've sinced moved from Demotte, I no longer Youth Pastor that student. I know he went from struggling to pass classes and being threatened to be placed in L.D. classes or even kicked out of school to just a couple weeks ago I found out he is not making any grade lower than a C, with most all of his classes being A's and B's. He's now a Junior in High school and has just moved to a new place. I don't think I had much to do with his success, but I do like to think that just taking a little extra time, showing true, genuine love with nothing in return can show a person what it means to be a good kind of different.

I'll be the first to say I'm not at all perfect, not even close. I have my issues and struggles and downfalls. I like everyone else desire to stand out above the rest but what am I willing to do to do it?

Then I ask myself the question, when God looks at the world and sees evil abounding, he sees nearly 7 billion people living life, what am I doing with my time here, that he would want to look down from Heaven and maybe, just maybe like Noah in Genesis 6:8 make him say...

"But Josh was different, God liked what He saw in Josh."

I'm Josh Pearman, I may not be perfect, but I'm striving to be...

a good different.

a GRAND evening!

2011-03-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I had the opportunity to do something special! I've never been to the Olympics and now that Chicago is out of the running for the 2016 Summer Games, It seems like I may not get to go anytime soon.

So, having said that, the Grand Prix of Swimming was in Indianapolis this weekend at the IUPUI Natatorium. Tiff, being the HUGE swimmer and fan practically begged to go. How could I say no? I'm vying for husband of the century here!

Anyways, how often can people say they saw one of the worlds TOP atheletes compete? Whether or not you like him, or the sport for that matter, Michael Phelps has done a TON to reenergize the worlds attention on swimming. We not only had the chance to see him compete and win 2 competitions tonight, but also had the chance to see a handful of other Olympic atheletes I'd only watched on my tv as they domitated the waves in Bejing.

This event is a US Swim meet, one of many Grand Prix events held around the nation. Tiff tells me it's really to showcase some up and coming athletes and more regional talent. I'm just so thankful to have got to the meet where the MAN showed up.

So, not only did we get to see Michael Phelps compete and win 2 separate events, we also got to see Olympic atheletes Ryan Lochte, Jason Lezak, Peter Vanderkaay, Katie Hoff and Dana Volmer as well. It was pretty rad. Not only that, but there were some CRAZY good TEENAGERS there as well. Specifically a couple of 15-16 year olds that won their individual events! Talk about nuts!

There were competitors from local swim clubs as well as international swimmers. There were quite a few swimmers there from Canada, Mexico and Brazil, as well as one from Korea. It was so cool!

Here are a couple of sweet snap shots I got with my phone!

That would be Michael Phelps dominating in the 200 IM Relay.

In the middle is 2nd place in the 200 IM Relay Ryan Lochte and on the far right is your champion, Michael Phelps!To all the non believers who refuse to admit! Lochte was in lane 2 and Phelps in 4! So awesome!

Ok, it was rad. I know Tiffany loved it, but I was like a kid in a...well...ummmm...swimming arena filled with Olympians!

Cool!

Peace out!

the blog: redux

2011-03-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

I know. I know. You're thinking. Haven't you tried this before? Yes, yes I have. I get into a mode and start typing off the cuff about whatever is on my mind. Thank God Blogger and Google left my poor excuse for an account sit here and collect cyber-dust while I pondered my return.

I've been back in the habit of blogging. Yea, obviously not here. I've been over at my JOB. Hahaha. I've been posting every Monday-Thursday over at indianayouthalive.blogspot.com it's rekindled my desire to post more often.

I feel like I've done a decent job of updating that site since it's initial launch. I'd love to do the same here! It may take me a week or two to scrape off all the cobwebs, but we'll breathe an initial life back into these virtual lungs with a new layout and banner at the top. For this season, we'll go by motto: a good different.

More on that later. Hang tight! Should be fun!

Josh

coffee, reading, and drinking beer.

2010-02-27T23:03:00.000-05:00

hey there you faithful blog readers!

i'm blogging alone at nearly 10pm at the starbucks near the mall in merrillville, indiana. you're probably wondering what i'm doing here out so late, and alone!

well my beautiful bride tiffany is busy working again tonite. she is so faithful, God really blessed me with a terrific woman when she came into my life. she's nannying/babysitting the kids tonite so the couple she works during the week for can go celebrate a 40th birthday!

i decide to come up north and eat some taco bell, do some missions homework (see 2 post prior to this) at starbucks, and then of course write this lil bloggy-blurb.

this book is legit, funding your ministry by scott morton. it's good stuff folks. anyways, thats not the only thing good right now, this 2nd grande cup of bold verona blend coffee is hitting the spot. funny thing about me and coffee, not only does it wake me up in the morning, but it lulls me to sleep at nite. ahhhh...cest la vie.

ok. you're probably wondering why the blog is titled coffee, reading and drinking beer. nope. not me. but i have got to say, i drank in high school when i was young and desperate to fit in, the stuff is actually pretty gross. everytime i see a beer commercial with its cascading golden flow, i'm nauseated with the thought of how it tastes like pee smells. just saying. that and hard liquor, if not drowned in the same flavors of dum dum pops, just masks the underlying taste of you guessed it...rubbing alcohol.

sick.

anyways, before i got on here i checked my facebook, its silly to me how glamorous drinking out with your peeps is. someone is cussing at me under their breath right now, but yes, sorry. i'm talking about you.

its not cool, at least not to me. and it doesn't really have a lot to do with my personal convictions either. i've had it. i did it to fit in, not b/c i liked it.

if its up to me? i'll just stick to coffee.

hahah. if you're seriously still reading this and upset...do me a favor.

sober up and get over yourself.

LOL!

love you guys! no really i do.
josh

late night.

2010-02-27T01:29:00.000-05:00

here it is 12:30am CST...I'm on my laptop, avoiding bed, sorting through the prospective ministry partners God is placing in my head!

Tiff and I rearranged furniture in our house to create a makeshift Youth Alive office for the next 4 months or so, until July when we relocate to the Indy area. Keep praying for us friends...you never know it...God could've already laid you on my heart today! (he likely has!) ;)

until tomorrow, sleep beckons.
Josh

The Transition.

2010-02-24T17:58:00.000-05:00

Hello again friends, world, internet, whoever finds their way to this blog.

On February 14th, yes Valentine's day, Tiffany and I announced our resignation from Calvary Assembly of God.

No, i'm not quitting ministry. No one had a moral failure.

We feel God has moved us on.

We're excited to say that we feel God pulling us towards Youth Alive ministry.

We've been feeling this way for a while, but wanted to know beyond reasonable doubt that this was the next step.

We talked to our Pastor, interviewed with some friends, and mentors, and vetted our own desires against the desires of God.

We are excited that this is the next phase in life for us.

Notice, I don't call it a step. It's not a step, nor a stepping stone. Neither was the time we spent here in Demotte.

That stuff happens too much...not me God. Don't allow that to happen.

So what's next? We have been approved by the Assemblies of God US Missions as Youth Alive Missionaries and we are going to go through training in Springfield, MO in March.

You may be wondering what Youth Alive is. First go check out that website. It's an organization that reaches out to students to empower them to take the love and message of Jesus Christ onto their respective school campuses. You've probably heard of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. This is similar, only much more involved. There are 4 basic components of Youth Alive.

I. Prayer Force - a force of adults and students alike that commit to praying for schools in their communities. They are asked when driving/traveling and they encounter a school zone (you know the yellow/neon sign) they would slow down and pray for the schools and students in the present community they are going through.

II. Campus Missionaries - a body of students who are deeply committed to 5 core principles of of the Christian faith on their campus. Pray. Live. Tell. Serve. Give. It's through these 5 commitments they show the love of Christ in action to their families, friends, and student bodies.

III. Campus Clubs - Campus clubs are primarily comprised of Youth Alive clubs (clubs can have any name) these clubs are organized and put in place BY STUDENTS on Jr and Sr High campuses all across America. Thanks to supreme court rulings, these faith based student initiated clubs are legally allowed on all public campuses in America! They are Christ centered, student driven, service oriented clubs which are supposed to stand out from the pack by modeling the love of Christ to the student body and faculty and staff of their respective schools.

IV. Seven Project - The 'big event' of Youth Alive. The 7 Project a chance for school and building administrators to bring in a positive/moral presentation which takes a very relevant approach to hot button teen issues affecting students in their respective schools. Administrators have the ability to choose 7 different topics they feel would do their students the best if addressed during daytime school assemblies. These daytime events are very holistic in nature, but do NOT tackle the topic of faith. Seven at Night is an event where students from daytime 7 Projects are invited back for the chance to re-encounter the awesome atmosphere presented earlier in their school day, but this time are able to hear the gospel presentation in the same relevant/nonthreatening way.

If you're reading this you may wonder...why give up your 'day job' and have to raise your own funds?

Friends I've learned something in life. When you feel God himself pulling you somewhere. Go. Don't worry about the details. :)

That doesn't mean I'm not looking and planning for the future. We will be here as Youth Pastors in Demotte until the week after Easter, then we will begin to itinerate and raise a budget for Youth Alive here in Indiana.

We can talk more about that later. ;)

As for now, pray for us. Pray for the church. Pray for the students in this community. I've poured all I had into them these last 4 years, and I would NOT trade it for anything.

We're excited for what God has on the horizon in our lives friends. I'm seriously going to try and post more blogs for your enjoyment. Hahaha.

I'll leave you with a lil random updated Youth Alive logo I created. Let me know your thoughts.

Peace out

Josh

new. fresh. look.

2010-02-22T15:10:00.002-05:00

Ok. I'm really going to try to get back into the blogosphere in the coming weeks and months. Today I just popped a new look/layout/banner on here. Let me know you're thoughts.

I'll probably begin with the good stuff come Wednesday!

Later.

Sayonara Scion...

2009-10-27T12:18:00.000-04:00

if you've heard the rumors...

they are true.

i am no longer the proud owner of a scion xB.

it was sold to carmax yesterday for 6500 buckaroos.

i'm sure a lot of people will be asking (or talking)

no we're not hurting financially.

no it wasn't repossessed.

no i tiffany didn't make me sell it.

no i didn't lose a bunch of money in one of those nigerian email scams so i had to sell my car to make up for it.

here's the real deal.

it just made sense financially.

sure i lost 1,000 bucks on it.

but that coupled with insurance money i now saved comes out to 3 months worth of 'car + insurance payments'

it was great on gas, but at 211 bucks plus insurance each month...it wasn't that much of a bargain...plus being married...i don't travel back and forth to Missouri everytime I turn around either (i love you baby!)

oh yea...tiff's dad is a used car dealer too.

so i'll have a car again someday. as for now i've got dad's old truck.

but i'll have saved over 3,400 in car and insurance payments over the next year.

and that's smart.

_________________

too often people bite off more than they can chew.

now granted, i was not one of those people.

i have never missed and had no intentions of missing a car payment or insurance payment.

i always payed on time.

i have never felt 'in want' of anything.

but there is something that is changing inside of me

call it maturity if you will.

but i'm realizing the more i live this life.

life is not about the things you want.

but what you can do with the things you have.

on june 12th of this year i took an oath.

one that has changed my life.

I married my best friend.

On that day I swore to her to protect and provide for her as long as we have breath.

I'm learning that in marriage self sacrifice on each persons behalf is a daily choice.

yesterday i made a choice.

to sacrifice my 'fun little car' i got when i graduated college and moved here.

i did it because life is more than a car.

how can i convince people in this world to learn to sacrifice if i can't model it myself.

i'm so glad i sold it.

i really didn't make a dime off of it.

i lost a G.

but i gained an awesome life lesson.

life isn't about what you want.

but about what you do with what you have.

the simple life.

2009-10-20T16:50:00.000-04:00

no. i'm not talking about that paris hilton/nicole richie show...

i've just been wondering a lot lately...

what if life was meant to be lived more...

simply.

allow me to explain.

it seems as if we are always doing something.

we're constantly filling out calendars with 'important' events and things.

we're pawning our children and families off on different events and signing up for the lastest class/sport

don't get me wrong i love sports/hobbies.

but my question is rather...

do we control our schedules?

or

do our schedules control us?

i'd venture to say if you're like the majority of the citizens of this great land you'd proudly pick the first.

arrogance.

i bet you we're sitting by your spouse/child or at your workdesk

and decided...oh...

i wonder if anyone has updated their facebook or sent me an email in the last 10 minutes?

so you jump on the internet to check.

whether from a laptop/desktop/cellphone

you've got to be on the internet.

i heard a study was published today that says that internet usage changes brain activity

granted their study shows it enhances brain function.

i'd argue that it creates a sense of absolute dependence

think about it.

where do you get the majority of your news?

when was the last time you purchased a newspaper on that note?

how do you interact with people the majority of time?

social networking sites?

where do you book hotels, find flights, check score updates, hear gossip?

exactly.

and how often do you do it?

there are times where i long to live simpler.

as a matter of fact, i'm trying to sell my 06 scion xb if anyone wants it.

just in an effort to eliminate some debt.

to live more simply.

the way God called us to live.

he did call us to live simply right?

does that mean we can't have nice things and do 'fun stuff'?

absolutely not!

however, Jesus says in matthew 6 19-21;

¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

now before you start brow beating about selling everything and becoming a 'hobo for Jesus'

think of this also...

the oft quoted john 10:10 (message version) reads

A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

thats what i'm talking about.

a life like i have never dreamed of!

just so you know i've had some pretty crazy dreams!

go further in matthew 6 and look at verse 24

²⁴"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

i think there have been times in recent history where i've tried to serve God and money both.

i realize that Jesus again knows best.

one of my favorite movies is The Shawshank Redemption

if you have not seen this movie do yourself a favor

watch it.

intently.

without stopping.

one of my favorite parts (i'll spare our unseen viewers) is about a man named Brooks.

Brooks is the oldest guy it seems in Shawshank prison...upon his release at a ripe old age he writes a letter back to the fellas..

his words are one of my favorite parts...

"Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big d*** hurry........"

that gets me everytime. Brooks was an elderly man who hadn't lived in a time of such 'hustle and bustle' in the world.

thats all most of us have known.

not i.

i remember the days of summer that seemed to drag on forever as me and my friends chased each other through the woods.

i remember the winter days we got out of school and how every effort was made/taken to enjoy every last minute of it.

the world got itself in a big ... hurry.

we sure did.

even in the church.

we schedule, schedule, schedule to meets the 'needs' of the people in our congregation.

maybe we should be leading by example.

slowing down and living simpler

instead of

hurrying and keeping up.

i'm going to take the challenge.

and on that note.

get off here.

go spend time with your family.

or friends.

go read a book.

enjoy the weather.

just

enjoy

God's

creation.

discontent.

2009-10-19T11:52:00.000-04:00

sometimes i have to break back into this blog, which by now i'm sure no one reads and just use it as a way to express my heart. i mean the title of the blog is my heart is on this sleeve...it just feels like it's been a while since i've allowed anyone near my heart...of course besides my wife.

that includes the one i call LORD. jeanne mayo wrote a book called uncensored: finding God when he feels far away. i've read it, i'm having my students read it...but its a shame because now i'm feeling it.

the worse part about it is that i know he is not far away. if anyone has moved it would have been me.

i'm just at a spot in life where i feel as if i've sank to the lowest part in the valley and am just simply desperate to escape. this is a dangerous spot to be because i am exposed, vulnerable, trapped by steep cliffs that loom over me, not knowing how to climb out.

i wish i knew what to do. my heart hurts ALL the time. not in a literal physical sense, but spiritually, emotionally i am so drained i have no strength at all most of the time. i'm unsure where to turn because it feels as if those who i thought were closest to me have moved on or simply rather overlook me and my situation.

i'm scared to let anyone in. unsure of what they might say or do. i just feel...numb.

i need direction. i feel lost. hopeless. senseless. misdirected. aloof.

i sense myself becoming the one thing i vowed i never wanted to become.

just like everyone else.

just going through motions. routine for the sake of routine.

religiously trotting along in tradition and doing things without feeling a sense of ownership or reason.

i'm lost in an ocean and i want out.

desperately.

so much that i'm about to let go of the last plank of wood from this sunken ship and just flail around until a rescue vessel comes along or a shark devours my senseless self.

thats just how i feel.

if it weren't for tiffany (who feels the same way) i wouldn't have much.

i'm seeking God and i know he's there. i just desire him to be so much more upfront with me.

i just need a savior right now.

luckily in my pursuit for piety i pounced upon this powerful psalm.

in the message. psalm 38...says this

^1-2 Take a deep breath, God; calm down— don't be so hasty with your punishing rod.
   Your sharp-pointed arrows of rebuke draw blood;
      my backside smarts from your caning.

^3-4 I've lost ~~twenty pounds~~ in two months
      because of your accusation.
   My bones are brittle as dry sticks
      because of my sin.
   I'm swamped by my bad behavior,
      collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt.

^5-8 The cuts in my flesh stink and grow maggots
      because I've lived so badly.
   And now I'm flat on my face
      feeling sorry for myself morning to night.
   All my insides are on fire,
      my body is a wreck.
   I'm on my last legs; I've had it—
      my life is a vomit ~~of groans.~~

^9-16 Lord, my longings are sitting in plain sight,
      my groans an old story to you.
   My heart's ~~about to~~ break;
      I'm a burned-out case.
   Cataracts blind me to God and good;
      old friends avoid me like the plague.
   My cousins never visit,
      my neighbors stab me in the back.
   My competitors blacken my name,
      devoutly they pray for my ruin.
   But I'm deaf and mute to it all,
      ears shut, mouth shut.
   I don't hear a word they say,
      don't speak a word in response.
   What I do, God, is wait for you,
      wait for my Lord, my God—you will answer!
   I wait and pray so they won't laugh me off,
      won't smugly strut off when I stumble.

^17-20 I'm ~~on the edge of~~ losing it—
      the pain in my gut keeps burning.
   I'm ready to tell my story of failure,
      I'm no longer smug in my sin.
   My enemies are alive and in action,
      a lynch mob after my neck.
   I give out good and get back evil
      from God-haters who can't stand a God-lover.

^21-22 Don't dump me, God;
      my God, don't stand me up.
   Hurry and help me;
      I want some wide-open space in my life!

that is where i am at.

right

now.

boys nite out!

2008-07-08T16:48:00.002-04:00

i am excited right now.

because it's time for a boys nite out!

me and my good buddy steve drenner are headed out tonight!

we're going to check out the awesome all you can eat wings at our beloved...

QUAKER STEAK AND LUBE!

and.........action!

2008-07-07T14:21:00.002-04:00

Wow peoples...I mean...wow.

It has been an amazing last few weeks in the life of Josh Pearman.

I spent 2 of the last 3 in Hartford City, Indiana serving our district teens at Teen Camp.

Last week I had the honor and fun (yet exhausting) privilege to serve as Activities Director at that same camp. Now the coolest part for me, being a meager 24 year old youth pastor, was to see these students come to camp with lives full of junk. And watch as God totally transformed them in one weeks time.

It was good for me because it took me on a retro-roller-coaster back to that same campground nearly 10 years ago. I recalled to mind how God had called me into ministry there. How I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues there. I even recalled how just two years ago God spoke to my heart and led me to the place where I call home today.

needless to say, it's been a couple of weeks full of non-stop action!

and i'm loving every minute of it. well...minus this headache and tired body. but pretty much every minute of it.

God is awesome. I wouldn't trade those weeks for anything. And there's plenty more on the horizon. I've got plenty of work left to do!!!

july 12-18 = jasper county fair food booth
july 19 = st. louis cardinals vs. san diego padres w/ davey
july 27 = preaching in main service
sometime in august = finally getting to see my baby!!!!

well...there's a whole lot more scattered in there...didn't want to bore you!

well...looks like that's a wrap!

be blessed friends!

short and sweet

2008-06-26T16:23:00.002-04:00

well. i will keep this short and sweet.

today has been good.

minus the chinese i had for lunch.

i'm excited about next week.

i'm an activities director at camp.

i'm a little nervous though...

also a little anxious!

congratulations are in line!

my friend from college just accepted a position here in indiana!

he'll only live an hour away now!

YAY! HOORAY!

CONGRATS ED!

Indiana just landed a super good guy.

habitual blogging...

2008-06-25T11:31:00.002-04:00

man...i've really let this thing get away from me. normally what happens is that either something will make me really upset and I blog out my stress or something really exciting happens and I blog about my delights...or as the case was today...I read someone else's blog and it inspired me to pick up the ol proverbial pen (in this case a keyboard) and mash out some of my thoughts.

________

I'll probably never be described as an habitual blogger...however, there are times where I'd like to be. It probably hinders my process a bit that I don't have internet access at my house. Not that it's not available...but hey for a single guy in ministry that lives in a world where temptation abounds around every corner...why give myself an opportunity. that coupled with the fact that instead of paying for the internet every month I can now put HALF a tank of gas in my Scion xB.

_________

I must say that this last week and a half have been tremendous. Have you ever had those times in your life? I'm sure that you have...but like the parable of the sower, many of those seeds have fallen on rocky soil where they were choked out by thorns and joyous times were shortly lived. I just had the opportunity to take 21 people with me down to Teen Camp II at Lake Placid last week. It was a phenomenal time...and not generalizing but really the most spiritually impactful week of teen camp I know I had ever been at.

this was the largest group by far our church had ever taken, and I know that excited our kids and myself as well. anyways...i saw teens lived touched in ways I hadn't seen in a while and I needed that!
_________

Then the day after I get back I hear an old buddy of mine is in the area itenerating at a chruch for a youth pastor position we hook up and hang out for most of the day and just have a blast talking ministry and life and God, and out of nowhere right before we part ways a homeless vagabond comes up to us looking for a beer. now my friend and I are both credentialed ministers with the AG which means we've signed a document adhering to certain community standards. (AHEM SIDENOTE FOR ALL OF YOU CREDENTIALED MINISTERS WHO MAY HAVE SIGNED THEM BUT SECRETLY SLIP A DRINK IN NOW OR THEN) we kind of smiled at each other knowing that there probably weren't two worse guys who he could've asked to buy him a beer...even if it was his birthday! anyways...this opened a can of worms and we just had the opportunity to sit and talk for a long while, sharing the LOVE of Christ and before he left...we prayed for him...not once but twice and recieved what seemed like 50 hugs from our new friend William Trent.

That my friends was a good day.

I hope this day is a good one for you as well.

Be blessed!
Josh

and...cue vent.

2007-12-27T17:52:00.000-05:00

sorry.

i'll make this short.

at least i'll try.

i get in and out of the routine of "blogging"

but i realize if i ever have something on my heart or chest...

i really do feel better if i...blog it out.

___

and...cue vent.

commencing.

now.

___

why does it seem like everything around me is changing sometimes.

life is taking a turn down a road untraveled.

i made a statement yesterday

i had closed a chapter in my life.

meaning

when i had port removal surgery

my cancer days and the like are finished.

praise God.

I have to chuckle a bit

because it seems to me that whenever one door closes

another door opens.

this isn't a vent full of malice and rage

but one of contemplation

of slight confusion

what does tomorrow hold for me?

what am i doing today?

i have so many dreams, plans, such great vision

but why do i feel as if they are literally impossible to bring to pass?

i have a family.

kinda.

the landscape there is becoming an unfamiliar one.

im sad.

theres a part of me that wants to run away.

from everyone.

start over.

but i can't.

the problems around me are real.

again, i want to help

but i am yet one simple man.

one very simple man.

who dreams quietly.

and talks boldly.

listens intently.

acts slowly.

yearns deeply.

loves passionately.

desires righteously.

recieves meekly.

grows weary.

with eyes teary.

my friendships are changing.

people are moving on.

i feel like i am standing still.

i am happy for them.

but am i happy with myself?

____

i know we are our own worst critics

i guess its because we know who we really are

or what we're really capable of.

we know our dreams

goals

desires

loves

passions

hates

dissapointments

shortcomings

dissatisfactions

despairs

____

someone once told me that humans are reisistant to change.

we like it the way things have always been.

but what if i am different.

what if i like change?

constant change?

what if i think people should always be changing

making themselves better.

now wait...

i didn't say i did it.

i get in a rut too.

i think i'm in one.

i guess i see so many others in one too

there has to be something that changes.

inside of me

inside of them

inside of us.

___

we cant expect things around us to change

if we ourselves are not willing to change first.

hearts must change

opinions must change

attitudes must change

perspectives must change

outlooks must change

lives must change

i must change.

___

i already know that i'll have at least one person write me and say...

"what are you dealing with? have you done something wrong?"

yes. yes i have.

haha.

now you're paying attention.

yes i have failed.

i'll fail again.

and again.

i've lied, cheated, been angry, coveted, lusted.

i am a human being.

it's what i do in spite of my failures that make me who i am.

i ask God to change me.

change who i am

into

who i must become

it is Him i must become like.

am i near perfection?

no way.

not even close.

but i want to be.

don't you?

well?

then act like it.

Christian means LIKE CHRIST.

i want to be like Him.

he is the only person i must be like.

so for anyone who calls themselves LIKE CHRIST.

at least try and act like it.

because if i can't even see fruit trying to sprout on your branches

you must just be a weed.

___

end vent.

{disclaimer}

i claim to be a Christian.

i strive to be one.

if you ever see me acting or behaving likewise

do me a favor

call me on it.

cause i'll call you on it too.

its a new concept called accountability.

dig it.

sincerest thoughts

2007-09-04T15:54:00.000-04:00

hello world.

i've been gone for too long.

i've had a lot of time to think but little time to act.

i've lived in demotte for over a year now.

as of two days ago, my dad has been gone a year now.

my heart still hurts.

that hasn't changed.

it just doesn't hurt as much.

you know what though.

i guess the part that hurts the most is that there are just a few of us here.

a few of us who even realize he's gone.

sometimes that makes me feel lonesome.

mom is moving on with life, i'm happy for Her.

but am i happy?

yes

and

no.

i miss him.

he will never be replaced.

tears stream down my face...because i miss his laugh.

i miss it so much.

i just need a dad hug right now.

there's nothing in the world like it.

for all of you who have been there in the past.

and for all of you who will be there for me in the future.

thank you so much.

keep praying for me.

because some days now are a lot harder than others.

its been a year daddy and i miss you so much.

i hope youre smiling when you watch me.

i can't wait to see you again soon.

V.I.P

2007-08-02T18:42:00.000-04:00

have you ever went to an event or an occasion where you had VIP access?

wow.

i got my first taste of it today.

allow me to share the background story first.

_____________

I met Justin a little under a year ago.

He was wearing a suit,

I was wearing a St. Louis Cardinals jersey.

We became comrades quickly.

He was a former youth pastor.

I am a youth pastor.

He runs a radio station.

I listen to his radio station.

He is the man.
_________________

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago.

I had seen Justin a couple times in the last year.

He lives 45 minutes away.

He's busy.

We spoke through email and saw each other a few different times

At concerts and such.

Then he randomly shows up at the church.

He stops in to meet with Pastor Jaime.

But talks to me for like...ever.

He tells me to shoot him an email with dates.

Because the NFC Champs Chicago Bears practice oh...

200 yards away from his radio station.

PS...which sponsors the training camp.

NICE.

So he invites me and 4 students to come tour the campus of Olivet Nazarene.

And have all access VIP pass to the Bears camp.

Needless to say...we were shuffled around today like royalty.

Did i mention our transportation was a $16,000 mini hummer golf cart?

3 words.

Off

the

hook.

I know that God is good to those whose trust is in Him.

Obviously.

God has blessed me.

God has blessed Shine.fm

God has blessed Olivet Nazarene University.

God has blessed the Chicago Bears.

But God has blessed the Indianapolis Colts just a little bit more.

Thank you God!
________________

Go check out these sites.

Shine.Fm - The best radio station in Chicagoland

Olivet Nazarene University - It's not A/G...but who said it has to be?!

sadness = gladness

2007-07-25T12:46:00.000-04:00

wow.

i needed that.

has the Holy Spirit ever just prompted you with something awesome.

something you needed?

___

it is not a secret any longer.

my dad passed away nearly a year ago.

it was september 2nd. a day i won't soon forget.

2 days ago, it was july 23...another day i won't forget either.

our family has been through the ringer in the last two years.

but with the Holy Spirit quickening our resolve, we have marched on.

my mom is a trooper. she made it through the death of my dad better than i thought.

at times, she was weak. very weak. her crying and wailing literally broke my heart.

but she pressed on. now, i know my mother is relatively young to be a widow. 52.

that is young. however, i wasn't sure how i would brace myself for this.

when she started dating again. or when she gets engaged. to marry.

well...like it or not i have to be ready. because my mom is engaged.

she'll be married on April 5th, 2008 to Dave Taylor.

i haven't met the guy yet...so i'll give him the ol'

benefit of the doubt.

yea. i'll give it to him. :)

so if you think about it.

pray for us.

for them.

for Davey.

for me.

God

help

us

all.
__________________

But...in the midst of sadness, I can tell you this.

That Christ hears our hearts. He knows our needs.

My mom is an adult who I trust her decisions.

I mean, she is my mom after all.

I love her more than anything.

and the Holy Spirit gave me this.

Isaiah 61:1-3
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

amen to that.

a good day.

2007-07-23T11:25:00.001-04:00

yesterday was a good day.

our youth praise band led worship for the first time in the main service.

i can't say i wasn't a little nervous for them.

for...well...myself.

i haven't quite been here a year, and i cannot tell you how proud i was yesterday.

i wanted to just hug and squeeze the life out of everyone of them.

because they played.

with passion.

they ministered.

and it wasn't about them.

the pastor was out of town so he had me preach.

good idea if i do say so myself.

lol. sorry. i just love to preach.

God laid a pretty awesome word in my heart for yesterday.

maybe it's for you today.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Paul writes these words.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.

and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Haven't you ever wanted something so bad you can taste it?

I mean, you'd do anything to have it.

When I worked the Fireworks tent in Monticello, I wanted a coke really bad one day.

Because it was so hot.

The coke would be so cold, refreshing, exhilarating.

But when I got to the machine it wouldn't take my money.

The only machine that was left was the Sams Choice cola.

It cost 1/4 of the price of coke. It definitely was not coke.

It was a cheap imitation...which I would not settle for.

Coke came out with a slogan many years ago with a jingle that went a lil like this...

"There ain't nothing like the real thing baby..."

Paul encourages the church at Ephesus to be the real thing.

A valid legitimate image of God on earth.

At the end of chapter 4 he lays out a list of things for those 'hypocritical' Christians to stop doing.

because they were driving people away from Christ, not towards him.

We're living in a culture that likes to settle for cheap imitations.

Cutting corners wherever we can. Doing just enough to scrape by.

Christ hasn't called us to live that way...but sometimes our culture can influence our spiritual lives on a disparaging level.

I just want to encourage you today, not be a cheap imitation Christian any longer.

_____________________

Obviously...this is just the tip of the iceberg of what God had on my heart for yesterday...people responded lives were transformed...God was there.

Not to mention I showed an infamous "Jesus Video"...the one where Jesus condemns all the people and tells them everything they've done wrong since he saw them last.

I only had one old lady walk out.

Probably because she didn't hear me say before hand...

"If the worlds view of Jesus Christ is based soley on how we as Christians treat them...I bet Jesus to some people would look a little bit like this...(queue video)"
_________

It's ok...she's a trooper...God laid that word on my heart, and I know that it got through, because when I showed back up last night for our youth service...there were like 12 bottles of coke and a lil coke cooler waiting for me!

AWESOME!
_________

Maybe next time I'll preach on like Olive Garden gift cards.

HAHA!

Love you all...

Josh

winds of change

2007-07-21T21:49:00.000-04:00

thats right people. the winds of change are blowing.

summer is getting ready to slam to a screeching halt.

we're hoping to implement some new things at church here soon.

the youth ministry is about to take off...i can feel it.

even the assemblies of God are up for reformation.

who would've thought all at the end of my summer.

crazy summer. where did you go?

back to the grind.

2007-07-09T17:37:00.000-04:00

yes...it is that time again.

back to the grind again.

back to real life again.

back to central time again.

life goes on.

cest la vie as the French would say...

wha? me parlez vous francais?

non.

anyways.

i'm back in the office.

back in action.

back.

better.

than.

ever.

well at least we made around $5,000 selling fireworks.

nice.

and just when i was getting used to sleeping in a camper with the sound of a 10 HP generator running 10 feet from my head.

psh.

life is like that sometimes.

im out.

the nazarite vow.

2007-06-28T16:00:00.000-04:00

yea.

i am in the midst of shear (pun intended) craziness.

i have taken upon myself the Nazarite vow.

its found in Numbers 6.

i am not eating or drinking anything that comes from the vine.

nor am i letting a razor touch my head or face.

for at least 3 weeks.

the craziest 3 weeks of this summer.

dang.

i could sleep all day.

thank God i found this coffee shop in monticello.

why am i in monticello?

i am selling fireworks duh.

to raise money for our teens.

God help us.

by July 5th I won't have slept in my bed for over 3 weeks.

sigh.

6.teen

2007-06-14T16:54:00.000-04:00

i've discovered something.

in our 'cooperative fellowship' we are lacking something.

we have what we call our 16 fundamental truths.

thine 16 fundamentals be chalked fulleth of language that well...

be-ith outish of toucheth.

as a minister of these assemblies of God foundations.

especially a minister to our young adults and students.

i've had a revelation that we need to translate these truths into language teens will get.

not that i want to water down meanings of sanctification, the blessed hope or anything.

not at all.

i want to make sure they understand in their own terms.

just what it is that we believe.

most teens strive to fit in while maintaining their uniqueness.

you know what.

the assemblies has done the same thing.

we hold steadfast to our 'pentecostal perspective'.

yet are on the forefront of many ministry facets.

except this one.

i hope that maybe by God's knowledge and grace.

i can change that.

so ladies and gentlemen...keep your eyes peeled for a study titled...

6.teen

stung by the busy bee

2007-06-06T15:53:00.000-04:00

and so it happened.

that on this day, i was stung.

stung by that big ol' yellow bumbling busy bee.

not a literal yellow jacket, wasp, hornet nor bee.

but the figurative kind, which can be nearly as painful.

actually, in retrospect, probably more painful.

with the summer thrusting itself upon us, along come the swarms of events.

things in which people do to keep themselves occupied because hey!

it's nice outside and there's nothing better to do...so lets get busy!

not that those other 9 months of the year aren't busy enough.

but that's not the issue at hand here.

this weekend two good friends of mine will be united in holy matrimony.

'marriage' for those of you lay men out there.

yes, steve gocke and maria lecoq are gettin' hitched.

and i should be there for it.

i had my plane ticket bought.

plans made.

everything else was in line.

except...well...everything here.

allow me to say that these next 12 weeks are going to be the busiest in my ministry thus far.

starting with last weekend.

graduations, meetings, seminars, birthday parties.

pool parties, teen camps, preteen camps, fireworks stands.

fundraising, fund spending, redecorating, renovating.

fairs, fine arts, then back to school, retreats, etc!

and somewhere in between all of that stuff...

running a youth ministry!

so. i had to make a decision.

actually decision had to make me.

i canceled my flight and plans to go to the wedding.

i just can't make it this weekend.

i can't make it to two weddings next weekend.

[edit. 10:45am Friday]

[another friend - megan called me last night wondering if i would be there for their wedding.]

[of course i wouldn't be.]

[what was she thinking?]

[hmph. oh well.]

[end edited rant]

go figure.

but it just hurts. i doubt my friends care.

i mean it's not about me anyways.

their weddings will go off without a hitch.

it will be grand.

and i'll just have to look at the pictures and hear the stories.

because i got stung by the mean ol' busy bee.

oh well. one thing to be thankful for.

at least i'm not allergic.

to bees.

selah.

guitar hero.

2007-06-05T11:58:00.001-04:00

no.

this isn't about the video game.

you just either breathed a sigh of relief or stopped reading.

this post is about an epic adventure which i about to embark on.

one of becoming something more than i think i can be.

i am going to teach myself.

how to play guitar.

yes.

i've had a guitar for over a year now, and never taken the time to learn.

that will all change soon.

i'm going to be determined to play this thing.

i'm having to type most of this with my right hand.

because my left hand is in so much pain.

these lil fingers of mine aren't used to guitar strings yet.

neither is my wrist.

but you'll be happy to know i have at least figured out two songs.

and a few chords.

i'm well on my way.

what chords you ask?

Em, Dadd6add9, G, D, A, A7.

the songs?

Horse With No Name and of course Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet.

who would've thought it was a rather simple song to play.

not me!

well. thats it.

i'm not taking any gigs yet though.

but i just thought i'd let you be aware.

josh pearman is becoming

a regular bona-fide.

guitar hero.

reflections on a previous blog.

2007-06-04T15:13:00.001-04:00

you know what?

thank God for today.

thank God for everyday.

God is so amazing, so refreshing.

i'm looking outside at the rain falling, and i'm reminded again.

just how marvelous the hand of God truly is.

its amazing the wonders His hands have made.

we by-pass these special moments in life, write them off.

for things like the weather.

stupid rain. right?

because heaven forbid we could get wet.

no. i think that's wrong.

if heaven should forbid anything, it should be our cynicism.

how eager we are to critique the creator of this universe for something as simple as.

precipitation.

__________

precipitation.

now there's a thought.

our hearts and minds in one accord.

yearning for God to precipitate his spirit on us.

you're at your computer.

close your eyes.

imagine what it feels like to be standing in the middle of rain.

a torrential downpour.

go ahead. close your door if you have to.

close your eyes. extend your hands. feel the rain.

it calms your soul. it soothes your skin.

it's almost.

well.

spiritual.

imagine now, that instead of rain.

it's the very essence.

the presence of God.

rushing down over your body.

saturating your very soul with his spirit.

precipitation all of a sudden is a very real, very soothing thing.

isn't this what God had in mind when he made the rain?

it's soothing. refreshing. replenishing things that were once dying.

kind of like His Spirit.

so maybe next time you feel a raindrop hit your forehead.

instead of running to hide.

you'll throw your arms wide and raise your head high.

and thank God, that He cares enough for you to send His rain.

his soothing, refreshing, replenishing rain.

that very spirit.

which is God.

T.G.I.T

2007-05-31T16:18:00.000-04:00

oh yea.

thank God it's thursday.

why, you ask?

well...

the truth is...

because it's thursday.

another day to breathe.

another day to live and be happy.

another day to be blessed and be a blessing.

i would imagine that's a great enough reason to thank God.

this is the day that the Lord has made right?

why not rejoice and be glad in it.

have you been blessed?

been a blessing?

do it. today!

i dare you!

afterall...

T.G.I.T.

shot through the heart...

2007-05-30T11:49:00.000-04:00

you ever have one of those moments?

like your whole world is crashing down?

no. no. everything is fine.

at least it is now.

thank God.

sometimes we need to be pushed so close to the brink.

only to be able to see the picture more clearly.

when we're desperate, we survive on our basic human needs.

it's then when three things remain.

faith. hope. and love.

and the greatest of those.

is definitely love.

hope. you're a close second.

someone will get what this means.

and to you.

te amo.

abandon ship

2007-05-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

oh no.

i nearly forgot after one week.

i needed to blog.

fear not. i have returned.

maybe i will start blogging again.

blogger will not be abandoned like xanga once was.

i. have. missed. you.

blogger.

forgive me.

take me back.

i didn't mean to leave like that.

it's just, you know.

hectic.

ha.

i guess if anyone would know you would.

blogger.

silly ol' blogger.

anyways. i have returned from an eventful week at that.

and this summer seems to be approaching at full force.

no time to stop now.

full speed ahead world!

this week and the next few promise to be crazy busy!

joyous rapture!

hooray!

blogger i have returned!

throw open the windows!

strike up the band!

dance out to meet this prodigal son!

for i have.

returned.

twenty four and the office

2007-05-21T16:05:00.000-04:00

so you were probably expecting something deep here.

ha!

boy i had you going.

actually this blog here and now is dedicated to two of my personal favorite shows that will be on hiatus until the fall after tonight.

first of all, allow me to introduce you to.

the office.

so. if you've never watched this tv show.

you should literally do everything possible to catch it.

it is by far the funniest/best written sitcom since.

well. ever.

the only other comedy in my opinion that can touch it.

seinfeld.

but as with all sitcoms, you love it or hate it.

with this one.

i am...

how do you say...

obsessed?

just watch it.

if you already are an addict.

all i need to say is.

JAM.

yes!

and of course.

my other 'new' favorite.

24.

ooooh daddy.

i was hooked on the first episode when jack bauer.

the guy in the middle between the black guy and older guy.

when jack bauer in the first episode bit a terrorist in the jugular.

and they showed it.

on tv.

it was amazing.

i thought whoever wrote this is a genius.

and although it's overwhelming to think that all that's happened this season took place over the course of an entire day.

whew.

thats gotta suck.

anyways.

i had never watched 24 until this season.

but i'm definitely hooked.

too bad the season finale is tonight.

there best be some kind of resolution.

or i may scream.

even cuss.

probably not though.

jack better save the world.

ok...to all of you who don't have anything better to watch.

the office.

and

twenty four.

those are my expert opinions.

take them or leave them.

i'm watchin' them all!

sunday.

2007-05-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

well. sunday is upon us.

the Lord's day.

i've always been curious of people with that notion.

isn't every day actually the Lord's day?

i mean, He created them, didn't He?

He set the moon and the sun in place and littered the stars in the sky.

don't get bent out of shape. sheesh. i was just pondering the subject.

i've noticed something.

life is busy.

sometimes, i wish i could just like take a month or a whole summer.

and run away.

not because i have so many pressing problems or issues.

just because life is...

well, busy.

i sat in my pew this morning.

at church.

i hope you did too by the way.

so yea, i sat there at church.

just reminiscing on the fact that, life is busy.

since my dad died last september, i've done something.

i've kept myself very...

busy.

i finally noticed this morning.

my self occupancy has had a whole lot to do with that.

i pressed myself hard to stay occupied so i never dealt with it.

today i had a breakdown.

no, i didn't grab a piece of glass and cut myself.

nor did i check myself into rehab.

no, i didn't perscribe to zoloft or zantrex.

i just...

cried.

it was a good cry.

because God still speaks in the midst of it all.

He said that he would pull down the mountains for me.

make my valleys still.

He is with me always.

even when i don't feel Him.

wow.

i needed that today.

God is so faithful.

even when we have a breakdown.

even when we cry.

even when we don't think He's there.

even on Sundays.

after all, Sunday is His day.

right?

phone calls and God calls

2007-05-17T16:02:00.000-04:00

wanna hear a funny story?

you know that last blog i posted? well you can read it here.

yea. so how about like not even twelve hours after posting it, i get a phone call.

from my buddy who i had been hanging with for the last few days.

and guess what.

he lives in indy.

he's a youth pastor.

he's a friend of mine.

he's working with a church plant.

oh yea. i forgot to mention. they wanted to talk to me.

about moving there.

*okay*

-ummm-

i wish i could describe what happened in my mind at that moment.

besides the fact i thought he had hacked my blogger account.

which he had no clue about.

everything in my flesh was screaming.

GO GO GO GO GO

like a crowd at a football game as someone guns it for the endzone.

my flesh said yes! yes! yes!

but i once learned [thank you LORD!] that we can't rely on our flesh.

because although my flesh was screaming like fans at the rosebowl

my heart was whispering.

josh.

psst.

you

know

this

isn't

the

right

timing.

it's a hard.

well.

very hard thing to make your flesh submit to your spirit at times.

thats why i'm thankful that the Lord has placed his spirit within me

to help me make those big decisions.

some people might have thought i was crazy to say no.

what an awesome opportunity.

it's not that i didn't have the giftings to go.

nor did i lack the abilities to go.

nor i couldn't afford to go.

nor that i didn't possess the desire to go.

however, there is one thing i did have.

my heart in the right place.

it's so funny. if you go back and read the previous blog.

you'll find i mention some specific things.

allow me to reiterate them.

- i love where i am
- i know i am where God has placed me
- i have NO intentions on changing any of that

and that is the honest truth.

i'm glad i wrote that part. if not. i may have gotten myself in trouble.

with myself.

so sometimes in life we have to be careful that we don't respond out of haste.

out of a cool opportunity.

otherwise you may forget that you just blew your greatest opportunity yet.

to be right where God has called you to be.

so instead of running through all those phone calls that may entice you.

remember back to the call that changed your life forever.

sounds enticing indeed.

sounds like

God's call.

conventions and convictions

2007-05-16T00:03:00.000-04:00

so i've discovered that sometimes.

no. strike that.

so i've discovered that nearly all the time,

i am better at writing out what i want to say rather than saying it.

maybe thats why some people don't understand when i say

things like.

' i dont know how to explain it '

' i cant describe it to you with words '

yes, yes i know. words are the same written and spoken.

however i can edit what is written

its harder to do so after saying something.

i guess i've had a lot on my mind for the past few days.

i have been attending our indiana district council meetings.

its a pastor thing.

you may not understand.

which is fine. totally fine.

trust me. its fine.

so yea. district council.

a good time to

-reconnect with ol buddies

-review business protocol

-refresh your body, soul, and spirit

so. 3 for 3 is a good thing tonite.

i'm feeling good.

but i'm feeling bad.

i'm feeling a bit...

convicted [?]

maybe.

or maybe my heart just yearns for so much more.

allow me to digress from this topic to say.

- i love where i am
- i know i am where God has placed me
- i have NO intentions on changing any of that

now. i can tell all.

sometimes i just wish i was in a bigger city.

closer to friends of mine.

closer to 'action' (by action i mean a network of friends that is fully supported and recognized by our district and it's actions)

church planti...

i cant do it.

i can't finish the phrase.

why is it every time i go to that city i feel like i should be there?

something inside me loves that place.

it hurts for the people there.

but there are already so many churches there.

i guess i can't say much.

demotte has like 20+ in a town less than 2 miles x 2 miles large.

oh well.

all my "frustration" (its not really frustration, probably more my inability to be patient)

all of that is what i always feel.

a sense of inadequacy.

its what i always feel when i get around other pastors and youth pastors.

sometimes it seems like everyone is trying to be someone they're not.

and then there's me.

i don't know who i am.

just a lil guy. from a lil town. who wants to help.

I just want to help.

I just want to be used by God.

ok Lord.

here i am.

use me.

mom's days and week ends

2007-05-13T16:49:00.000-04:00

happy mothers day to you.

even if you don't know who your mom is, nor have a functional relationship.

happy mothers day to you.

i always heard it was the thought that counts.

so yea, as soon as church was over today i came back to terre haute to see my momma.

it only takes a lil over two hours.

not too shabby.

one hundred and forty miles later and here i am. on her computer. blogging.

i belive i'm starting to enjoy this again.

so...as stated in a previous post.

i am a pastor.

and i have lost friends because of it.

i love them a lot and miss them.

but i've also made awesome friends because of it.

i am attending our 'district council' meetings for the next few days in indianapolis.

should be fun.

should be.

at least i'll get to catch up with some ol' buds.

life in the ministry is crazy.

i have this feeling in the back of my mind that i "ain't seen nothin' yet"

good song.

ok.

need to jet.

so happy moms day.

i hope your week ends well.

blessings.

shalom.

walking with weddings.

2007-05-11T18:06:00.000-04:00

well.

i could've titled it hospitals and high notes part 2...but how original is that?

today brought about another fun filled day of life!

i came into the office for a little bit this morning...later than normal, because fridays are my days off.

but no one really gets a day off when you're in ministry.

can i get an amen.

thank you. i see that hand.

so, around noon i realize, i don't want to be in the office.

i drive to valpo.

another 75 miles on my new car.

owned it for 5 months. already driven over 9,000 miles.

yea. that is a freakin' lot.

oh well...better than owning a jeep that gets 1/2 the mileage.

i'd be broke by now if i had that beast.

so...valpo it was. panera bread called my name for lunch and i answered.

thank you panera. thank you very much.

i felt healthier for eating there.

ha. thats something you don't say very often.

so then it was on to the hospital to see pastor clark.

he woke up when i arrived. and wanted to go for a walk.

it made me smile to see him up and moving.

a very encouraging sight indeed.

he may be home by monday.

but walking wears out a man who just had heart surgery.

so he rested.

and therefore i left.

it was on to merrillville to fulfill his request for a special gift to be given to a couple tomorrow.

yea...i'll get to that in a second.

i stopped at the albanese candy factory on the way.

why yes. the samples were delicious.

darn them for giving away samples.

i always buy something.

or two something[s].

::grin::

yummy.

so now i regress. i sit here at church in my office. waiting for six o'clock.

nervous.

as heck.

i mean afterall...

this IS my first wedding.

literally.

i'm not married, so it feels weird to be officiating one.

someone once said, "with great power, comes great responsibility."

thank you ben parker.

without that, spiderman nor myself would be ok with things we know are right to do.

so yes. the wedding rehearsal begins shortly.

am i nervous?

sorry...i didn't hear you my heart was pounding to loud.

no. err. yes. umm. ok.

i will make it.

it's only a wedding afterall right?

lets hope i feel the same way tomorrow.

after the married couple walks down the aisle.

after i say "i pronounce you..."

after i can get the heck out of there.

oh boy.

i need to go take a walk.

weddings.

marriage is bliss eh?

touche.

hospitals and high notes.

2007-05-10T19:30:00.000-04:00

well. i guess i couldn't stay away too long.

today i was in the office. well for most of the day at least.

my boss...aka...sr. pastor...had heart surgery yesterday to repair a valve.

i saw him again today.

he looks well. he doesn't feel as well as he looks. that has to suck.

so, i've regressed here, to this solitary blog. to edit my ramblings and spew forth new happenings in my day.

as for the high notes.

i, having the joy of being youth pastor, am going to hear a band/choir concert at Demotte Christian School.

nothing better than pre-pubescent teens squealing their lungs out aiming for those high notes.

if thats not ending your day with a smile, not much can.

yup. time to go. gotta grab me a seat.

God bless those jr. highers.

God bless jim clark.

God bless america.

Just had to sneak that one in.

See you tomorrow.

a new beginning.

2007-05-10T13:00:00.000-04:00

so. here it is. my heart on a virtual sleeve. i enjoy blogging...sometimes. you'll find out i don't do it often enough. but when i do...i'll rock your world.

this is my first blogging venture post-xanga since the myspFace.book.com revolution. here's to you hoping it all goes well.

you're probably curious who i am. maybe i'll give you some insight.

i'm twenty-three years old.
i have brown hair and blue eyes.
i love Jesus Christ.
i adore my girlfriend.
my family is very important to me.
i'm a conservative democrat.
i'm a pastor.
i probably just lost some readers after those prior statements.
but you're still here. evidently you want to know me.
i'm from a small city in indiana.
no really...its small.
how small? really small.
but i like it.
i like music. i love to sing it. i can't play it.
some people even tell me i'm good at it.
then again...some people are liars.
and good at it.
but i love them anyways.
thats why they're my friends.
they tell me what i want to hear.
the truth.

nice to meet you.
i'm sure we'll talk more soon.
i'll try to make this space a little more inviting.
ok. bye.